


Hardly In {A Joker/Reader/Harley fanfiction}

by HeyNiceUsernameBudd



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Suicide Squad (2016)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Parents, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Love, Multi, Porn with Feelings, Ratings: R, Threesome - F/F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-03-13 12:43:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13570821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeyNiceUsernameBudd/pseuds/HeyNiceUsernameBudd
Summary: You didn't exactly ask for this; to get on the radar of the king and queen of Gotham. But, sometimes young, aspiring journalists who will do anything to get their name on the juiciest news stories can get themselves into sticky situations. You were no different. After a very close call with Joker and Harley while they were performing a heist, you become the object of their attention and 'admiration'...~~~~~~~Teeter totter in the hilariously criminal world of Joker and Harley and have a few hysterical laughs along the way!





	1. Too Close For Comfort

**Author's Note:**

> In order to make this story more personal to you, I will be using these terms! 
> 
> (Y/N) = Your name  
> (L/N) = Your last name  
> (H/C) = Your hair color  
> (E/C) = Your eye color  
> (F/C) = Your favorite color

 

 

**Night time sparkled over Gotham City.** The air was brisk as the moonlight illuminated the damp streets and alleyways...

Many crimes ensued in the night time in Gotham, which is why any average person caught outside after 7 p.m. either was insane or had a death wish. You can decide which category you fit under..

"What time is it?" You asked as you held your hands together in front of you, playing with your fingers. You had a slightly anxious look on your face although you mostly hid it well.

"... 10:43 p.m." your camera man, Sam, said with a husky sigh as he looked at his watch. He was also driving the 'news van'-- (that was really just a navy blue van that he owned and painted the number 38 on to make it look more official) --that you two were currently in. He was in the driver's seat, but you had gotten out of your seat and stood in the cargo area, wanting to give your blood a moment to circulate through your legs efficiently while waiting.

"Good." You said simply before subtly attempting to swallow the dry lump forming in your throat.

The van was parked just across the street from Diamond Mine Jewelry Store. The Joker and Harley were supposed to show up there at 11:00 p.m. to ransack the place and you had front row seats, a straight-shot to report the two in action, _first_ _hand_. This could have possibly been the big break you were looking for that could get you from 'coffee manager' to HEAD JOURNALIST!.. So why were you so nervous? Maybe because you'd have to very careful and calculated. Any wrong move could mean certain death. And it wasn't funny.

"(Y/N)..." Sam said, getting your attention.

You looked at him, "Yes?" You asked, trying to keep a neutral face.

".. This is crazy, you know that right?" He questioned you. "Look at us. We've been out here for an hour and forty-five minutes, watching this jewelry store, expecting the two most notorious bad guys to just show up here. I mean, don't get me wrong, I want to get these two on video as much as the next guy--" you could tell by the way he looked to the side and tensed up, that he was lying about wanting to get close to these two. He was afraid, "--But how do we know that they will even waste their time here?"

You rolled your eyes. "I told you, Sam. I got an anonymous tip that they would be at this very store and exactly 11 p.m., _tonight_."

"And who told you that?" Sam questioned.

"If I knew that, it wouldn't be an 'anonymous tip', now would it?" You questioned back and shook your head. "You can be so difficult sometimes. Just get your camera ready and--"

Your sentence was interrupted by the approaching zooming sound of a car.

You scrambled up to the front of the van to look out of the passenger side window just in time to see a fancy, purple Lamborghini speeding by, followed by the blaring sound of cop cars.

You and Sam both looked at each other. Although your expression was more excitement, whereas he was giving you a look that said 'you got your facts wrong'.

"... I don't make the news, I just want to report it!" You said defensively before quickly sitting down in the seat and buckling up, "Now follow those cars! Go! Go!"

Your sudden loud demands frightened Sam just enough to make him flinch before he cranked up the van (he had turned it off to preserve energy. Gas is expensive!) and quickly put on his seat belt before slamming his foot on the gas pedal..

~~~~~~~~~~

"Hurry up! We're losing them!" You explained as you hit Sam's arm as if that could make the van go any faster.

"I'm going as fast as I can, (Y/N)! It's a miracle that we're able to keep up with them at all!" He defended himself.

It had been about ten minutes since you two joined in the high speed chase. Six out of the ten cop cars that were chasing the Lamborghini had already swerved and were destroyed due to the quick tricks from the Joker to get away. The other cops must have come to their senses and pulled over, turning off their sirens.

The police knew that they couldn't catch the royal crime duo, chasing them was just a formality now.

But not for you.

"Keep going!!" You practically squealed. Without cops around, you'd be much better off getting raw footage of pair.

Sam glanced towards you once he heard the sound of your seatbelt unbuckling

"What, are you crazy!?" He questioned you as you carefully climbed out of your seat and went to the back of the van.

"No. I'm getting your camera! This is great!" You said excitedly as you searched through the miscellaneous CDs and mic stands.

_Geez_ _,_ _why_ _can't_ _he_ _keep_ _the_ _NEWS_ _VAN_ _strictly_ _for_ _NEWS_ _MATERIAL_ _??_

".. Just make sure that you do not lose them!" You demanded before your eyes lit up as you spotted the camera. "There you are!" It was in the far corner, near the back doors.

You kneeled down to grab the camera when you heard Sam mumble, "Uh oh."

And that's the last thing you heard before a large crash, the van jerked and you were pushed forward, slamming into the back door of the van..

**Then** **everything** **went** **black** **very** **quickly** **...**

~~~~~~~~

You groaned and whimpered softly once you awakened. You were flat on your back, surrounded by random debris that landed in the van during the crash. You sat up and rubbed your head,

"What happened, Sam?" You mumbled but you didn't get an answer. But your lip did sting when you talked. You brought your hand up and realized it was busted in the crash. You lifted your hand a little further up and felt a trickle of blood from your nose.

"Sam?" You asked again as you turned around, but he was not in the driver seat anymore.

_That_ _dick_ _._ _He_ _left_ _me_ _!_

You crawled to the back door of the van and unlatched it before climbing out of the van with another groan. Your body ached, but you could have been hurt much worse.

You sighed softly as you walked toward the front of the outside of the van to access the situation. The front of the van was destroyed and smashed into a wall.

"How even?.." You murmured before glancing around to see where you are.

In a dead end alley.

You shook your head.

_Sam_ _must_ _have_ _turned_ _into_ _here_ _too_ _quickly_ _,_ _not_ _realizing_ _that_ _it_ _was_ _an_ _alley_ _and_ _was_ _going_ _too_ _fast_ _to_ _stop_ _before_ _smacking_ _into_ _the_ _wall_ _._ _Figures_ _.._

_But_ _wait_ _,_ _that_ _means_ _..._

You quickly glanced around again and spotted the purple Lamborghini. It was parked in the corner of the alley and it didn't look like anyone was in there.. Anymore.

"You really totaled your van here." You heard a creepily-soothing, feminine voice say.

Your heart skipped a beat as you looked up and saw Harley Quinn standing on top of the van with a seemingly glowing smile.

"Aww, what's the matter?" She asked, her voice taunting. She kept her smile as she jumped down in front of you, tilting her head to the side "Cat's got your tongue?"

You didn't answer her. Your first instinct was to back away. But after just two steps backwards, you bumped into a solid figured.

You spun around quickly, your eyes widening as you were only inches away from the clown prince of crime himself: the joker.

He had a wide smile also. He began to give you his signature laugh. You heard Harley laughing behind you, as well...


	2. Too Close For Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More interaction between your character and the king and queen of Gotham.

The laughing from the two only continued and echoed in your head as your thoughts started to cloud. You were certain that you'd be killed for a stunt like this..

"What should we do with her, puddin'?" Harley asked as she walked around to the front of you, standing beside The Joker.

"Well..." The Joker started as he stared deep into your frightened eyes, he drew out the word as he began to slowly walk a small circle around you, studying your physique and subtle, anxious moves before he finished the circle and stood in front of you, beside Harley, again.

"It would be a waste to just kill her, wouldn't it?" Joker asked Harley. To which Harley quickly agreed.

"Of course, puddin'." She answered as she nodded her head quickly.

"Of course..." Joker growled out, repeating Harley as he stepped closer to you, putting his face only an inch away from yours as he clenched his teeth together in a half-smile.

You suddenly felt his hands reach around your waist and you gasped softly.

"You're too pretty to die." He spoke in a low growl as his hands went down and gripped your ass tightly as he pulled you toward him, pressing his body against yours.

Harley was quiet, staring at you blankly with her mouth stretched into a smile that didn't show her teeth this time.

You could see Harley watching as the Joker brought his face down and began to lick your neck.

You didn't know how to react, but you knew that one wrong move would end badly. Your eyes were on Harley. You were confused. Why would she just let the Joker kiss your neck right in front of her. They were a couple.. Right?

You stood still, for the most part, although you were trembling. Joker felt you shaking in his arms and he began to laugh near your ear.

As if on cue, Harley began to laugh as well..

Joker pulled back just enough to look into your eyes with a stare that pierced into your soul.  
"You know.." He started, "I really don't understand why you're so afraid now. You were the one chasing us, remember?" He questioned you.

"That's right." Harley agreed in the background.

"Tell me.. What were you expecting to happen?.. (Y/N)?" Joker asked.

Your eyes widened. He knew your name! The king of Gotham knew YOUR name.

The Joker's smile dropped as you didn't answer him, ".. You are making this very difficult to be funny." He stated.

"I.. I.." You stammered. This was not like you. You never stammered over your words.

".. 'I love you.'" The Joker's smile creeped across his face as he finished your sentence the way he wanted to. He then started to laugh again.

".. I'm a journalist." You corrected, finally able to finish your sentence. "But, you might already know that." You said as you pushed away from the Joker's hold.

The Joker raised his eyebrows then, an amused look on his face at your sudden boldness.

"I needed a good story to report.." Your bravery continued as you told why you were following them, "You guys have been the hottest story for a while now."

"Thank you." Harley stated before giggling.

"Ohh.. So, you are a journalist.. I was under the impression that you were an unpaid, underappreciated intern. My apologies." The Joker said with sarcasm that bit you hard.

".. Don't worry about it." You replied almost as sarcastically as he did before realizing who you're talking to.

"You've got a slick mouth." The Joker glared at you as he pushed you back, up against the side of the wrecked van. He clenched his teeth again, his face close to yours. You could feel his breath dance across your face. It was very intimidating, yet intriguing.

He noticed the willful sparkle in your eye and it made him smile again.

"..That little sparkle is going to get you killed, doll face!" He growled, disregarding his previous statement about keeping you alive and held one of his hands back towards Harley while using his other hand and body to keep you pressed against the van.

Almost instinctively, Harley handed him her gun that was in it's holster. But she stepped closer also and stood beside him.

"Wait, puddin'!" She said as he held the gun to your head.

Your heart was racing again.

"What?" Joker questioned Harley as he turned his gaze to her.

"Maybe we don't have to kill her, like you said." Harley stated.

"What do you think we should do with her, then?" He questioned. His interest was obviously peeked.

You were very curious about what she was insinuating also...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I wanna hear from you guys!


	3. That Tickles (Sexy Time)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's called Sexy Time for a reason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning!!: This part is very explicit and contains SEXUAL situations that are not suitable for all audiences!!!
> 
> *Author's note and the end of this chapter*   
> ______________________________

Harley bit her lip as she looked at you and the Joker with a mischievous smile before she leaned over and whispered in his ear.

The Joker kept the gun pressed to your head as he listened to Harley and his smile creeper back on his face as he stared deep into your eyes.

He turned his head to look at Harley after she was done whispering, "I love you so much sometimes." He stated.

That made Harley happy. She jumped excitedly and clapped her hands for a moment before pecking The Joker's lips.

The Joker then turned his head back to you, his eyes narrowed now as he slowly pulled the gun away from your head and handed it to Harley, to which she put it back in its holster.

"... If I were you..." The Joker started as he brought his now free hand up and placed it firmly on your neck, ".. I'd thank Harley. Right now." He tightened his grip on your neck, moving his hand up to the nape of your neck and forcefully jerked your head slightly to look at her.

"Thank you, Harley!" You squeaked softly. You weren't going to ask why you were thanking her..

"Don't mention it." Harley giggled at your reaction.

"Good." The Joker growled before smashing his lips against yours, keeping his grip between your neck and chin to hold your head in place. He used his other hand to hold your wrist tightly, keeping you pressed up again the van with his body.

Your eyes widened from surprise but the Joker didn't notice ...

~~~~~~~~~~~

***Joker's** **P** **.** **O** **.** **V** **.* (** **Mistah** **J's** **P** **.** **O** **.V?!)**

The raw taste of iron filled my mouth when I kissed (Y/N). As I sucked the blood from her busted, bottom lip, I realized just how long it's been since I tasted blood.

Don't misunderstand me when I say this, I'm not a vampire and I don't want to be... But (Y/N)'s blood, it was sweet; addictive. Even the time's that I tasted Harley's blood while kissing her after she was all bruised up didn't give me the same feeling as (Y/N)'s. I was never one for blood in the first place but I found myself wanting to savor the taste of hers...

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**  
***** **Back** **to** **Your** **P** **.** **O** **.** **V** **.***

The Joker groaned as he hungrily sucked all of the blood from your lip, then licked the blood that was dripping from your nose.

Hearing how much he was enjoying this sent tingles down your spine.

You were lost in the moment by the time he pulled back from the kiss, his grip still firm on you.

He stared into your eyes again, his grin wide as he spoke, "I'd tell you not to worry, but I just might hurt'cha."

And with that, he threw you to the ground, towards Harley.

Harley just quickly took a few steps out of the way in response.

You landed on your back, bumping the back of your head on the ground in the process.

You squeezed your eyes shut, hissing from the pain.

You suddenly felt a soft, yet clammy hand grab one of your wrists and hold it above your head on the ground

You opened your eyes to see Harley kneeled beside you and smiling down at you..

  
She was on the side of you, leaving your body open for The Joker to begin unbuttoning your pants.

Harley grabbed your other wrist and held it above your head as well, to keep you in the most vulnerable position for her puddin'.

"Oooh..." The Joker chuckled as he pulled off your pants and revealed your lacy, white panties.

He pulled them down slowly, his smile widening to it's fullest as he sees a trail of your wetness stick to them.

You were turned on. Even if you didn't know it, he knew it. And so did Harley.

You weren't even attempting to get out of Harley's hold but she still held you down. She knew how Mistah J liked to be in control.

The Joker handed Harley your damp panties and she grabbed them with her mouth, happily sucking on them as she giggled.

He then grabbed the bottom part of your black, button up blouse; slowly pulling it apart to watch every one of the buttons pop off of it.

He pushed up your matching, lacy, white bra to reveal your breasts.

He climbed over you, his hands cupping your breasts, his palms caressing your erect nipples. His face close to yours again as he smiled down at you.

 

He looked as if he was going to say something to you, but he just began to laugh as he reached down and unzipped his pants.

Harley began to laugh as well as you looked over at her and before you could look towards The Joker again, he was already rubbing his hard cock against your wet entrance.

"Tell me you like it." He spoke huskily as he held your thighs apart.

You bit your lip hard, moaning softly.

You were definitely enjoying it. But did you want to give in and admit that?

The Joker groaned then, a frown on his face as you didn't do what he said.

"I think she's ignoring you, puddin'." Harley stated.

The Joker did not like that.

He gripped your thighs harder before thrusting into you all the way, causing you to arch your back and scream.

_He_ _was_ _so_ _big_ _._

**~~~~~~~~~**

***** **Joker's** **P** **.** **O** **.** **V** **.***

_She_ _was_ _so_ _tight_ _._

_**~~~~~~~~** _

_***** _ _**Back** _ _**to** _ _**Your** _ _**P** _ _**.** _ _**O** _ _**.** _ _**V** _ _**.*** _

"Tell me you want it." The Joker growled as he lowered his face to yours.

He knew you wanted it.

".. I want it." You said, giving in.

"Tell me you _need_ it!" He grinned.

He knew you needed it.

"I need it!" You said.

He chuckled, "What do you need?"

"I-.. I-.. I need you to pound me with your big, fat cock!" You were loud.

The Joker loved seeing you this desperate, and of course, began to laugh again.

Harley joined in the laughter.

"Good girl." The Joker said before pressing his lips against yours again.   
His tongue danced around inside of your mouth, filling it up and moving around so much that you couldn't even attempt to keep up with his kissing.

He began to eagerly thrust his hips against yours in the perfect motion that rubbed against your g-spot every single time and caused you to moan loudly.

You wrapped your legs around his waist. You would have put your arms around him too, if Harley wasn't still holding your wrists down to the ground.

He moved a hand up from one of your thighs and used it to hold onto you by your neck again, cutting off your air supply.

You closed your eyes as his thrusts only got deeper, faster and harder.

You turned your head from the kiss finally and gasped for air. It was becoming harder and harder to breathe by the minute. And the Joker was enjoying that.

You didn't realize your climax approaching until you were almost there.

Almost there.

Everything was starting to fade black around you slowly and you weren't sure if you were going to stay conscious long enough to reach your orgasm.

You tried to squirm out of his tight grasp around your neck but he just held it tighter and smiled wider.

Suddenly your entire body tensed up, your mind going blank as you could only think about how amazingly his cock was hitting the right spot as you started to cum all over it. Your eyes rolling from pleasure.

"Who owns you?" He asked huskily.

You could only hear him, not see him. You couldn't even respond.

"I own you.." He started while still thrusting, to which you nodded your head very faintly before passing out from the lack of oxygen..

You didn't know that he _meant_ _it_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ________________________
> 
> ALRIGHTY! Thank you for reading lolol hopefully you can find the strength to vote and comment with one hand because I love feedback! The next part will be up soon :*

**Author's Note:**

> ~Alrighty! Thank you for reading! This is actually my first DC fanfiction! Yaaay! So, feedback is welcome! It's actually encouraged! Make sure that you upvote as well and the next part will be posted soon ;)~


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